Hopeful for Home
We have been home from New Orleans for one week. Im official 2 weeks post op now, which is hard to believe, but 1 week home feels amazing...7 whole days. I really am so thankful and blessed to be home, even quarantined.
I can’t help but reflect on how risky our situation was being in the heart of New Orleans and not even knowing what was brewing there. It’s like a Hurricane Katrina all over again down there, and we truly were spared. One of our Uber drivers spoke of the rescue efforts of he and some friends did in 2005 as they drove their boats down neighborhoods rescuing people from the homes, people floating in their refrigerators down the streets, and all the destruction caused by that natural disaster. But what breaks my heart now, is they didn’t see what was coming with the coronavirus in the following weeks! Mardi Gras has been the week before, and at that time they had zero cases reported of coronavirus. That Uber driver, and us, had no idea what their state and this country would be up against.
We sat for long hours and long days alone in that muggy, broken down, depressing room at the Hope Lodge (kind of ironic, it didn’t feel like much of a Hope Lodge, especially after the laundry facilities broke and someone had taken our towels out of the wash before the spin cycle and just left them soaking on the floor.) To not complain too much, let’s just say we had a bed, bathroom, kitchen and a shuttle, all the basic things we needed. And it was safe, not crowded and it was free- all huge blessings. Don’t get me wrong, it was definitely a place of hope for some...many cancer patients from all over the world have been able to stay there free of charge during their treatments and/or surgeries. What a gift that was to be able to recovery there safely with Dax by my side for that time. But the days were endless. I wanted to be safe at home with my babies... At times, I felt as if we’d never make it there.
My surgeons moved up my post op appointment. As their vivid-19 cases started to rise, they feared a travel ban was coming and wanted to get us home as soon as possible. I was overjoyed, but my hope for home wasn’t a reality yet. Things in New Orleans weren’t looking good. Their numbers were climbing. They had shut down all restaurants downtown and people seemed worried. That day, we got 3 of my 4 drains out and were able to happily rearrange our flights to get home a day early. One step closer to being home.
One thing I’m glad about, we never turned on the news in our room. Not once. We knew coronavirus was brewing, but it would only add to our anxieties and longing for home and our 3 kids. We had enough to focus on trying to manage my recovery anyway. I could barely walk 15 feet down the hall. We’d get in the elevator and I’d have to lean up against Daxton and basically sit on his legs as he did a wall sit against the elevator walls. Coronavirus was a big deal- but eating, drinking, medication, resting, walking, showering, wound care, drain care, and leg compressions were at the forefront for us. I was pretty medicated, so I wouldn’t have remembered much of the news even if I watched it. But with coronavirus sweeping the nation, my hope of something to come was agonizing until I was actually safely home with my babies again.
Our sweet neighbors picked us up from the Boise airport at 1:00am on Friday, March 20th. We were haggard. Exhausted. Relieved. We made it! We stayed as sanitized and germ free as possible through the duration of our travels, wearing gloves, masks, sanitizing and washing hands as frequently as possible. But I wouldn’t expect anything less from a germ-freak couple who both understand the importance of precautions and prevention. After all, enduring this huge risky surgery was technically prevention, and I was pretty happy to be in the other side of things.
Fast forward to now, I’m so thankful we took the precautions we did everywhere we went. We were the crazy ones wearing masks and gloves in Walmart when nobody else was! We were the crazy ones wearing masks and gloves on the shuttles and in the hospitals when nobody else was. Just to be safe. I kind of thought it was overkill because case numbers weren’t terrible by the time we left, just climbing. New Orleans now has over 3500 positive COVID-19 cases and over 150 deaths and it’s just going to get worse!. If only they would have had a heads up, one week earlier about how widespread this was going to be, I bet they would have worn gloves and masks...or not gone to Mardi Gras.
My point in sharing all of this is two-fold.
First, as hard as it is to be quarantined at home with 3 wild kids, recovering from a double mastectomy, no friends, no family, and loss of income- home is where it’s at for me! Please stay home!!! Many hours of the day are challenging, a lot of the unknowns of the future are very challenging, but I keep reminding myself of how badly I wanted to be home! I’m home and we are staying home, even my husband who is out of work. Home, home home! We hoped so hard to be home, please cherish being home, even with all the challenges. I once heard that “futurizing is paralyzing, past-urizing is depressing, that’s why we should stay in the present!” That’s all I have to do is stay home and stay in the present, but also turn off the news. Or at least limit the time spent watching it. I promise it will decrease anxiety. Watching more and getting the latest doesn’t change a whole lot as far as what we can control. It’s hard, but striving to be intentional, plan our days and be present and safe is all we can do right now.
My second reason in sharing some of this is I would highly consider wearing gloves and a mask if you have one or can make one when you go out! Who cares what the others in the store think of you (and really, that is the ONLY place we should be going!) I know the CDC doesn’t recommend wearing a mask unless you have symptoms but that is so contradictory to the fact that you can have zero symptoms while spreading it! Please glove and mask up, I guarantee it is the reason Dax and I came home safe from one of the worst covid-19 areas! I’ll never forget waking up in the recliner that morning to my sleepy babies walking into our room. Hoping for home did become our reality! We are quarantined still to protect others and protect ourselves.
Hug all your babies, play games with them, FaceTime your loved ones, write letters, journal, read, call people, make homemade masks, check in the elderly or people who need help, wash your hands, probably Lysol your milk jugs and boxed goods, stay 6 feet from anyone- do you really want to inhale their sneeze? And then just PRAY!!! God needs to know that we turn to Him. His hand has been so blatantly obvious in my life, trust me- it’s worth it to seek Him out and have a personal relationship with Him! What better time than now than to realign your will with His and feel His love and peace right now.
“How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.” President Russel M. Nelson
I can’t help but reflect on how risky our situation was being in the heart of New Orleans and not even knowing what was brewing there. It’s like a Hurricane Katrina all over again down there, and we truly were spared. One of our Uber drivers spoke of the rescue efforts of he and some friends did in 2005 as they drove their boats down neighborhoods rescuing people from the homes, people floating in their refrigerators down the streets, and all the destruction caused by that natural disaster. But what breaks my heart now, is they didn’t see what was coming with the coronavirus in the following weeks! Mardi Gras has been the week before, and at that time they had zero cases reported of coronavirus. That Uber driver, and us, had no idea what their state and this country would be up against.
We sat for long hours and long days alone in that muggy, broken down, depressing room at the Hope Lodge (kind of ironic, it didn’t feel like much of a Hope Lodge, especially after the laundry facilities broke and someone had taken our towels out of the wash before the spin cycle and just left them soaking on the floor.) To not complain too much, let’s just say we had a bed, bathroom, kitchen and a shuttle, all the basic things we needed. And it was safe, not crowded and it was free- all huge blessings. Don’t get me wrong, it was definitely a place of hope for some...many cancer patients from all over the world have been able to stay there free of charge during their treatments and/or surgeries. What a gift that was to be able to recovery there safely with Dax by my side for that time. But the days were endless. I wanted to be safe at home with my babies... At times, I felt as if we’d never make it there.
My surgeons moved up my post op appointment. As their vivid-19 cases started to rise, they feared a travel ban was coming and wanted to get us home as soon as possible. I was overjoyed, but my hope for home wasn’t a reality yet. Things in New Orleans weren’t looking good. Their numbers were climbing. They had shut down all restaurants downtown and people seemed worried. That day, we got 3 of my 4 drains out and were able to happily rearrange our flights to get home a day early. One step closer to being home.
One thing I’m glad about, we never turned on the news in our room. Not once. We knew coronavirus was brewing, but it would only add to our anxieties and longing for home and our 3 kids. We had enough to focus on trying to manage my recovery anyway. I could barely walk 15 feet down the hall. We’d get in the elevator and I’d have to lean up against Daxton and basically sit on his legs as he did a wall sit against the elevator walls. Coronavirus was a big deal- but eating, drinking, medication, resting, walking, showering, wound care, drain care, and leg compressions were at the forefront for us. I was pretty medicated, so I wouldn’t have remembered much of the news even if I watched it. But with coronavirus sweeping the nation, my hope of something to come was agonizing until I was actually safely home with my babies again.
Our sweet neighbors picked us up from the Boise airport at 1:00am on Friday, March 20th. We were haggard. Exhausted. Relieved. We made it! We stayed as sanitized and germ free as possible through the duration of our travels, wearing gloves, masks, sanitizing and washing hands as frequently as possible. But I wouldn’t expect anything less from a germ-freak couple who both understand the importance of precautions and prevention. After all, enduring this huge risky surgery was technically prevention, and I was pretty happy to be in the other side of things.
Fast forward to now, I’m so thankful we took the precautions we did everywhere we went. We were the crazy ones wearing masks and gloves in Walmart when nobody else was! We were the crazy ones wearing masks and gloves on the shuttles and in the hospitals when nobody else was. Just to be safe. I kind of thought it was overkill because case numbers weren’t terrible by the time we left, just climbing. New Orleans now has over 3500 positive COVID-19 cases and over 150 deaths and it’s just going to get worse!. If only they would have had a heads up, one week earlier about how widespread this was going to be, I bet they would have worn gloves and masks...or not gone to Mardi Gras.
My point in sharing all of this is two-fold.
First, as hard as it is to be quarantined at home with 3 wild kids, recovering from a double mastectomy, no friends, no family, and loss of income- home is where it’s at for me! Please stay home!!! Many hours of the day are challenging, a lot of the unknowns of the future are very challenging, but I keep reminding myself of how badly I wanted to be home! I’m home and we are staying home, even my husband who is out of work. Home, home home! We hoped so hard to be home, please cherish being home, even with all the challenges. I once heard that “futurizing is paralyzing, past-urizing is depressing, that’s why we should stay in the present!” That’s all I have to do is stay home and stay in the present, but also turn off the news. Or at least limit the time spent watching it. I promise it will decrease anxiety. Watching more and getting the latest doesn’t change a whole lot as far as what we can control. It’s hard, but striving to be intentional, plan our days and be present and safe is all we can do right now.
My second reason in sharing some of this is I would highly consider wearing gloves and a mask if you have one or can make one when you go out! Who cares what the others in the store think of you (and really, that is the ONLY place we should be going!) I know the CDC doesn’t recommend wearing a mask unless you have symptoms but that is so contradictory to the fact that you can have zero symptoms while spreading it! Please glove and mask up, I guarantee it is the reason Dax and I came home safe from one of the worst covid-19 areas! I’ll never forget waking up in the recliner that morning to my sleepy babies walking into our room. Hoping for home did become our reality! We are quarantined still to protect others and protect ourselves.
Hug all your babies, play games with them, FaceTime your loved ones, write letters, journal, read, call people, make homemade masks, check in the elderly or people who need help, wash your hands, probably Lysol your milk jugs and boxed goods, stay 6 feet from anyone- do you really want to inhale their sneeze? And then just PRAY!!! God needs to know that we turn to Him. His hand has been so blatantly obvious in my life, trust me- it’s worth it to seek Him out and have a personal relationship with Him! What better time than now than to realign your will with His and feel His love and peace right now.
“How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.” President Russel M. Nelson
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